You make me wanna fly

So after my rant the other night I got thinking and there was something I forgot to mention, one thing that makes me more mad than anything!! Girls who claim to be mormon and they're super awesome and you think it's someone you wanna date but they you find out that they drink and/or smoke or something stupid like that. Now I think everyone has a right to believe and do what they want. But I wont date someone that does that stuff. it's not something I want in my life. So I hate finding incredibly awesome girls then come to find out they do stuff like that. it kills me. I just hate that they can't see how stupid doing all that stuff is. None of that is going to make you happy. sure you might have fun doing it in the moment and all that but it's just so stupid, I can't say that enough. And of course it's my luck to find a pretty chill girl, someone that actually likes me and would date me then I find out that stuff and they don't want to stop and they think it's fun and all that. well sorry i'm not having that. One thing my mission president taught me and I think this is going to be the hardest thing in the world he was giving me my going home interview/talk and of course they always talk about marriage in that, but he said, "Elder Christofferson, when it comes to searching for your eternal companion you need to find someone that loves the Lord more than she loves you." That just isn't something you see a whole lot of now days. The girls that do love the Lord that much always seem to be so awkward, then all the girls that are super chill and that I get a long with really well, don't seem to really care about that. They may go to church and stuff but through their actions you know thats not the case. It just sucks and it really makes me wonder if there is a girl out there that has what i'm looking for. Now i'm not talking about someone like super churchy that wont watch a PG-13 movie but just someone down to earth, someone who knows there beliefs and lives by them but also isn't perfect. if she swears here or there big deal. But those type of people just don't seem to exist. Maybe it's just Utah?! But it seems like everyone is one extreme of the other. Super churchy or super crazy, is there no girls in the middle ground? I have found probably 2 girls like that. 2 out of all the people i've met here!! and of course what happens with them? well i'm wasn't really their type so nothing. Now because i've had these 2 awesome girls in my life if only for a second that I compare everyone to them and no one compares. One of them I can't stop thinking about lately and it's driving me crazy. I thought I had gotten over her a long time, now I find myself looking at her facebook page, getting jealous when I see pictures of her and guys and wishing she would talk to me. It sucks knowing that you're not good enough for someone or that you're not what they want when it seems like they're the person that could just make you happy forever. You start to wish they would give you a shot but as you think about it, you come to a realization that it's not going to happen. Then you get that feeling of loneliness which is the worst feeling in the world, you sit there and wonder if someone like that will ever come a long again and how long it'll take. But you feel as though no one can measure up to that person. Sometimes I wonder why i'm still friends with her, there's a reason I stopped talking to her and it was because it hurt so much knowing she was interested, no i'm just setting myself up for failure and walking right down the same path i've already taken. But I guess that's what happens when a person brings out the best in you. that's what i've always wanted is someone that makes me want to be a better person, and that's exactly what she does. and that's probably why I can't stop thinking about her because she makes me the type of person I want to be and that I try to be but I can't reach that level without a boost and thats what she provides me with, even tho she probably doesn't know it or doesn't see it. but she really is an amazing person! who wouldn't want to be around someone like that right?

You make me wanna fly, so high. so high, high baby.