Trying something new

Thanks to one of my good friends Annie Walker I decided it was time I get a blog. I know this isn't something that guys usually do but after thinking about it, I realize this could be a very good thing for me for a couple reasons. First, I'm not very good at expressing myself and I don't really like others knowing how I truly feel, i'm pretty good at putting on a happy face when i'm around people because I don't like to bring them into my problems and add on to theirs, so I figured this would be a good way for me to express myself, to say all the things I really want to say and not have to worry about lots of people knowing how I really feel. Second, this also kind of goes along with the first and that is that I keep things bottled up a lot and I hear that's not very good so i'm using this as a way to get things off my chest to see if it helps bring my stress level down. Third, I don't keep a journal or anything and I figure this is a good way that I can go back and see things that have happened to me and learn from the things I write about. I have a feeling a lot of the things I say are going to have to do with a lot of struggles in my life because that is usually when I feel the biggest need to express myself. However I will try and update about both the good times and the bad. 

               So here I am trying out something new, this is something I have never ever been good at. I don't do well with change and I like things to stay the same......for the most part. But I also believe in being outgoing and trying new things. Especially as of lately since my life has just been a rollercoaster i'll do anything to help me relax. It's funny how things work out, I think back to my high school days and when I would get stressed or upset I would go kick it with some of my very best friends I think most of them know who they are but I still want to recognize them for the huge role they've played in my life. Tyson Matagi, Cole and Brandt Peterson and David Opoulos. Through high school and our first year of college we all had problems and we all got upset and we all relied on each other to be there for one another. Whenever one of us would get upset or something like that, we would go on late night walks. This probably sounds stupid to lots of people but if you've never been on a late night walk you should try it, especially if you're with your best friends. Late at night everything seems to be so peaceful and calm and it really helped us to calm down and just open up to each other. I didn't matter where we walked to but we would just walk and talk and share everything. There were plenty of laughs, plenty of serious moments and even plenty of tears to go with it. I think about this and it's hard because this was such a good way to help me calm down and to not worry about things and just take life as it comes, but as I've grown up things have changed. As I've moved away to college I don't have my best friends here, yes I have plenty of great friends here and people I can talk to and go on walks with, but it's just not the same. These people know a lot about me but not everything like my friends. it's hard for me to open up to anyone that isn't one of those guys I mentioned above. I still go on late night walks, but it is very different when you're doing it by yourself. no one to talk to or tell your inner most feelings to. It's very lonely and sometimes I really wonder why I'm here. I don't regret coming here at all and I love Logan and I know it's part of growing up learning how to handle all the stresses of life, I guess I just didn't expect it to be this hard. But that is why i'm trying something new, a new way to look at life, a new way of expressing myself and a new way of learning. If thats one thing that i've learned it's that change is inevitable, and it's all really how we learn to adapt and deal wit that change. I once heard a saying that says, "Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it" -Charles Swindoll. It's so true we have a choice everyday how to react to the things going on, if we choose to embrace them and to grow and learn we will be so much better off than thinking, "why me?" We just need to embrace what we're given and keep moving on in this world. Now to be honest I don't know if anything I just said through this whole rambling session made sense to anyone, but it made sense to me and thats the most important thing so that I'm able to look back and remember these exact feelings and how I felt in this exact moment. I know it probably sounds like me whining cuz I miss my friends back home and the moment we shared with each other but I hope thats not the only thing you notice but that you notice the little things like trying something new, and not being scared to do it. I am thankful for my friends up here and for them opening my eyes to a new way of expressing myself and hopefully it helps, we'll give it a shot. Last of all I'm so grateful for every single one of my trials I go through so that I can learn and grow. That doesn't mean that I always like what comes my way, but in the end i'm always grateful for the things I've learned and the person it's shaped me into. I'm grateful for God and the gospel of Jesus Christ and the role it plays in my life and for the knowledge I have the true HAPPINESS comes from living it. Thanks to the atonement of Jesus Christ when times seem so hard that we can't go on, it's nice knowing that he's been there and that we can always rely on him and that with him there is always hope.