Friday, December 23, 2011

Dedicated to one of my best friends Lior

So a few days ago I told a good friend of mine named Lior...yes that;s how she spells it, that I would make a blog post as to why I love her and why she is one of my most favoritest people in the world. Lior this one's for you!
 First of all Lior is just great, everyone should know this. she's just well....great lqtm. No but really here is why she is so great. First of all she's one of the select few that has stayed up with me till 4 in the morning just to talk. she's great. But these late night night talks are awesome....well not really just the late night talks but anytime we hang out, I love the talks that we have. She's one of the only people I feel like I can completely open up to and she's not someone I have to try and impress or worry about what she thinks because she doesn't judge me and just likes me for who I am and to top it all off, she's pretty straight up with me and tells me when i'm doing something stupid and she tries to help and tries to make me a better person. I love her for that, I think she sees something in me that not many others do.
Second, I love her for bringing me ice cream. she knows how much I love chocolate ice cream so guess what? she bought me some for Christmas. She knows I love to eat ice cream while watching a movie and moping around about girls it's like she reads my mind. she's probably the only person to ever buy me anything just because. SEE! she's a good person...kinda haha hopefully she gets that joke.
Anyway next reason is that she texts me from time to time just to see how i'm doing or just to say hi. most people only text me when they want something. I love that she cares about me enough just to see how i'm doing. she's like my little sister :) always checkin on me to make sure i'm not doing anything stupid. The little sister that I never had. :)
Another reason is she is very wise and gives me advice...mostly about stupid girls cuz I never know what to do, but she gives me the best advice on how to handle certain situations. I tend to really struggle. I get all kinds of nervous and I don't know what to say, so she basically slaps me back into reality and calms me down and tells  me how things are going down. she's very calm when I am not and this really helps me relax and get my mind off things I can't control.
Last but not least, she's just always there for me. she's my shoulder to lean on, she's just great :) I'm very thankful for her and all that she does for me especially the little things that she probably thinks are no big deal. she's so great and i'm glad she's in my life. Lior thank you thank you for everything I love your guts and you're so great, you really do mean a lot to me so please don't sell me, unless it's to someone super awesome that will take care of me like you.........P.s. we're still not best friends cuz I haven't farted in front of you but that could change soon, you never know. I'll just have to keep you on your toes :)

Monday, December 19, 2011

over analyzing kills me!

So a few things have happened the last few weeks and I;m feeling a little lost and confused and frustrated and it just sucks trying to figure out what to do about everything. So as we all know things with girl have been pretty much non existent with me and i've been cool with that. I'm not in a rush to make things happen, but when things do start to kind of happen and then girls start to play mind games with you, that's when I get upset and I start to get frustrated.
     About 2 weeks ago someone I really use to like and had feelings for sent me a text, and of course me being the nice guy that I am had to respond to her. I'm just not good at being mean. Anyway so I text her back and somehow we got on the subject of us getting married......as a joke of course. Then things kinda turned and I felt like she was being serious when she said she wanted to date me when she gets back from Christmas break. Just the way we were talking I felt as if she was being real with me. and I'm pretty sure she was. The problem is, is that I promised myself I would never fall for this girl again. Just because of how things went with us the first time. As we kept talking about things of course some of those feelings came back to me and I've been trying to avoid them because I don't really want things to go anywhere with her. Anyway basically since that night she hasn't talked to me. and that's just how she is. I'm her "security blanket" when she needs someone she comes back to me and only seems to remember me and she feels lonely. she never seems to remember me at any other time which really pisses me off. The thing that scares me is once she comes back I'm afraid she really is going to try to get with me and that I will fall for her. Obviously I don't want to, but I could see it happening, but if that were to happen I can also see her just playing me and then dropping me. Another reason for me to not get involved. I know it's a bad idea to give her another chance but I just have to try and avoid it I guess. So I have been trying to date other girls to just kind of move on and forget about her and that way if she does try to get with me I can tell her i'm with someone and I wont have to worry about falling for her. So last week, I went on a date. Amazing right?!? all we did was go to dinner but it actually turned out to be one of the best dates I've ever been on. This girl was so easy to talk to and we seemed to just get along. I'm still getting to know her but she's making it tough on me. Girls always playing the hard to get game. I don't know how she feels or what she's thinking. I mean the date went well and I felt like she gave me some signs that she was somewhat interested so I don't know what to do with this. it's all part of the mind game. Anyway I decided not to text her for a few days obviously so I don't sound too needy or wanty. so I waited 2 days and she didn't text me so I text her just to see how she was doing and for the first minute she talked back but very quickly her texts turned into very short responses which gives me a feeling she's not interested. Maybe it's just her not knowing what to say, but girls just know how to work it. Guys always want what they can't have so I don't know if that;s what she's doing or if she just flat out doesn't want anything to do with me. This is the problem with these mind games that girls play. It ruins things before things even happen. Now because of how our conversation went I can't text her at all or I do sound like some crazy guy just trying to get with her, which is not what i'm trying to do. But because of these stupid games girls play I basically have to wait for her to text me, which I honestly don't see happening, she doesn't seem like the type to text someone first. so either way I lose. She could be waiting for me to text her again but even if I do she's going to start thinking wow he really wants to talk to me he must like me and if she thinks that then it's going to freak out, there is absolutely no winning. Also if I don't text her she's going to think he must not like me at all and things will end right there. Can you see the position I'm in? All these stupid games people play drive me crazy. What is so wrong with 2 people talking and getting to know each other and maybe going on a couple dates. after getting to know someone a little bit and you're not interested then just tell them. This would make things so much easier and there would be so much more less stress in the world. COMMUNICATION is the key, all people really need to do in this life is communicate and there would be so many less problems. so many things happen because they don't communicate and also because they're scared of what could happen. Sometimes you just have to go along with it and not worry about things. Just let them happen as they come. As you can see i'm stuck a little bit in between a rock and a hard place and then there's just that little extra stress, just that feeling of not knowing what to do is the worst part and when I don't know what to do I start over analyzing things and that is something that's not a good thing to do. So i'm going to try and relax and just take things as they come