Who I Am With You

Well, it's been a minute since I've been on here which I guess it means it's time to get all my feelings out. I only seem to get on here everyone 5, 6 or 7 months and that's because that's how long it usually takes for me to find a girl i'm interested in... Well this story isn't going to be like a lot of the rest because this one hasn't quite ended yet. I'm not sure if it's going anywhere or not, but I would like to think that there is a chance. I've met and tried to date a lot of really cool girls...But this one, this one is really different. I may have said that about some of the others but this one really is. I don't know how to describe what it is about her and maybe it's because when we first started hanging out I wasn't looking to date her. I just wanted to be friends with her because my emotions were kind of stuck on another girl. But over the last couple weeks, we've been hanging out a little bit, and I don't know how she does it, but she just has this way of sucking me in and making me want to spend more time with her. I didn't even want to go to an Aggie basketball game because I was wanting to spend time with her...she's just incredible and she's a really good girl and she has her head on straight. I just smile when I think about her. The only problem is that i'm thinking too much...I do this every time and it ends up biting me in the butt. It scares me that I'm starting to do this with her! I hate admitting that. It scares me that about already developing feelings for her because all I want to do is spend time with her and I know that's not at the top of her list. Over the last week and a half things have been a little different with her. At first we were talking all the time and hanging out and thats slowly slipping away...at least it feels like it, I don't really know if it is, or if it's just me starting to over think things and make things seem that way. I really don't want to ruin things with her. The person that i've been over the last couple has surprised me. Just the little bit that i've been around her has made me a better person. She makes me want to be better and to work harder, I don't know if i'll ever get the chance to tell her that. I think a lot of that comes from her strength, this girl has been through so much in the last little bit that it just blows my mind how strong she is. She was in a very serious relationship....she was basically engaged to a guy and things just didn't work out. I can't even imagine having to go through something like that. To be in love and to think you've found the person that you're going to spend eternity with just to have it all end. The way she has pushed through that is amazing. I know that experience has made her stronger and i'm sure she's learned a lot and will continue to learn from that, but her strength just inspires me so much to be a better person. To have the faith that she has that even though things didn't work out and to know that God has a plan for her and that she'll be ok.. I just don't even have the words to describe how amazing that is or how that affects me. Just being around her I want to be better. It scares me to think that I may never get to keep hanging out with her and get to know her as well as I would like because of what she's gone through and is going through. I can only hope that she'll let down her wall enough to really give me a chance and see what happens. I know it's scary... it's scary for me too, but sometimes we have to just let go of our fears and see what happens. Yes that makes us vulnerable to getting hurt and pain but it also can do the opposite. Anyway, to end this I just want to play a song that reminds me of her and how I feel when I'm around her. It's by Chris Young and it's called, "who I am With You."